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To confirm just how important a role hospital staff play in organ and tissue donation, the New York Organ Donor Network has asked donor families to tell us about their experiences. Here are two viewpoints, and more will be added over the coming months.
At the Worst Time in Our Lives, the Hospital Staff Made Us Feel as If We Were a Part of Their Team
Organ and tissue donation first touched my life and the lives of my family on November 18th, 1991, when we were told that our 27-year-old daughter, Karen, was brain dead. A parent's worse nightmare, "to lose a child," had touched our lives - never to be the same.
Six days before, Karen had suffered a head injury due to an accidental gunshot. As I look back at the days I spent in the trauma center at Karen's bedside, I realize that I wouldn't have gotten through those days if it weren't for her doctor and the two nurses that took care of her around the clock. They encouraged us to take part in her care and made us feel as if we were part of the team, striving to pull Karen through. The staff not only looked after Karen's needs, but also the needs of the family. A kind word, a touch on the shoulder or the words, "May I get you a cup of coffee?" meant so much.
I will be forever grateful to the Organ Procurement Organization (OPO) representative for all his patience, understanding and kindness in helping me to carry out Karen's wishes to give the "gift of life" upon her death. Even though I knew Karen had a signed donor card, I could not give consent. I was afraid that her body would be mutilated and I wouldn't be able to have an open casket. This was important to me because I wanted Karen for as long as I could have her.
The OPO representative spent a long time with the family explaining the donation process and assured us that Karen's body would be treated with the greatest respect. He assured us he would be with her throughout the recovery. He did not pressure us. Eventually, with the help of the OPO representative, and my love for Karen, I was able to say yes and give her gifts. Four people were given a chance at a new life.
The kindness of the hospital and the OPO staff didn't end on November 18th when we left the hospital. Eleven years later, I still receive correspondence from them. At the worst time in our lives, these wonderful and dedicated people helped Karen's family to turn a tragedy into a positive- the "Gift of Love," the "Gift of Life."
Barbara Musto
Donor Mom |
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The View From the Other Side of the Bed
On October 27, 1999, I received the phone call that no family member should ever receive. The voice of the evening supervisor at Westchester Medical Center, New York told me that my 27-year-old son, Michael was in the emergency room following an auto accident in Warwick, New York. I knew she was trying to help me to get to the hospital in the safest way possible, because I myself had made these phone calls to family members when I worked as an intensive care nurse.
At that moment, I needed to know the facts before I continued driving and before I contacted the rest of my family. Time froze as the words "ejected from the car…head trauma…cardiac arrests…tubed" filtered into my mind. As a health care professional, I knew the reality of those ominous connected words, but as a mother, I was unwilling and unable to hear much of what was said during that time and in the time that followed.
When my family looked to me for translation of the words, sights and sounds of the nightmare unfolding before us, I came to realize that I had been given a tremendous gift by my son. Just a few weeks before the accident, Michael and I were traveling to a family funeral in Rhode Island, where I started a conversation about end of life decisions and funeral procedures. He told me on that ride that in the event of his death, he would want to be an organ and tissue donor. As a family, we were helped with that knowledge.
So many families are not so lucky and these discussions and decisions take place under the most horrific circumstances.
How, when and where discussions of brain death declaration and organ donation take place between the family and the physicians, nursing staff and the transplant coordinators can affect their decision to donate. This was the case for my family. The decision to donate Michael's organs and tissues was supported by the patient and kind approach by all members of the health care team from Westchester Medical Center and the New York Organ Donor Network. I also now know first hand, that what is important to the family is that their loved one, the potential donor lying in that bed, was given the best possible care the health care team could provide and that the decision they made is one they can all live with.
Jean M. Carnevale, MSN, RN
Donor Mom |
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